It's my second week of law school. Yay? More to come later, I'm sure. For now, however, I have this to offer - a brief and open letter to all Business Information Technology majors.
Congratulations! You've chosen to major in Business Information Technology. You're officially majoring in Computer Science Light with a side of Communications. Basically, you're an overachieving sorority girl. You say you've got good grades? That's fantastic! You're what we like to call "business school smart." A chimpanzee could do your work and get roughly the same marks (they're just so personable, don't you think?). Talking to you, we can hear the popped collar in your voice, sense the labrador-like need to impress (luckily for the cute lab, he routinely does impress us!).
So please, in the future, keep your opinions on Linux or cloud computing to yourself, that's for the real computer scientists and computer engineers. Keep your thoughts on personal success to yourself too, you're clearly not an expert. And next time, consider going for your associate's and an IT certification - it'll save you a lot of money and a lot more embarrassment.
Love,
The World
5 comments:
Nothing less than I expected. Yay for you! Here is similar writing, to which you should aspire: http://www.esquire.com/features/thousand-words-on-culture/simon-cowell-leaving-american-idol-0110?click=main_sr
Also, the red links in the essay go to pictures, which do add something to the story.
A
Is that bitterness I detect? Someone must have pissed you off. No worries, I'm told time heals all wounds. A bit of advice though, attacking someone's choice of major, and any success they have because of it, isn't the best move. There are too many good lawyer jokes for you to win that one.
Anonymous -
First, grow some balls and give a name.
Second, bitterness is the exact wrong word to use there. It implies a kind of personal feeling of being wronged that I lack. Pure, unadulterated annoyance is much more on point.
Third, everyone pisses me off.
Fourth, you know nothing of wounds if you think time heals them. Let's assume you're speaking metaphorically - what wound of mine do you think needs healing? I'll bet your guess is not only misguided but also trite.
Fifth, I wasn't making fun of BIT majors' success. I was, in fact, raising doubt that they could ever have it. As a holder of degrees in more than one major historically scoffed at for being impractical, I reserve the right to scoff right back. I feel more compelled to do so when I find a particular major lacks the intellectual substance to truly be called "higher education." Furthermore, it's my party and I'll cry if I want to...I mean, it's my blog and I'll say what I want to.
Sixth, I've never met a lawyer joke I haven't embraced and retold. If you think I'm the kind of person offended by them (or, worse, the kind of person they're intended to offend) then you very clearly don't know me very well. What's the best kind of lawyer? A dead one. If you lined up all the lawyers in the world, how far would they reach? Into the next one's pocket. At least we get jokes. We're like the away player that gets booed in sports, you know you're good if people bother to hate you. (And, just to head off any, "well, don't you hate BIT majors?" comments - no, I find them annoying wastes of space and air but I wouldn't say I can muster enough passion to hate them.)
Closing thought: if you agree with my right to have a blog and post whatever I please on said blog AND have zero desire to know me after reading the contents of it, why bother to take the time to comment and pick a fight? Go spend your clearly not overly valuable time elsewhere instead of writing tl;dr reiterations of arguments you've already made (and which happen to be based on a complete lack of knowledge of who I am as a person).
Woot go Amy, even though you slammed my fake major. We both know it has nothing to do with what I want to do so who gives a fuck.
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